Senioritis

I'm obviously not an attorney's attorney. I feel like the people I work with are personally responsible for the fact that most people hate lawyers. I can handle most of the associates. Most of the obnoxiously annoying attorneys are our senior partners. A few special, "pieces of work" come immediately to mind.

We have Mr. Reamer. To anyone at the firm who is not an attorney - he's not Mike, he's not Michael, he's not even Mike Reamer - but must be referred to as Mr. Reamer. Gee, weren't the days of making support people call you Mister and fetch your morning coffee pretty much over in the 70's, Mike? And he speaks to them in the most condescending tones, unless he's yelling at them.

The other day he called the audiovisual guy into his office and yelled at him for at least 10 minutes for not underlining a heading in a presentation he prepared for him. I felt like breaking it down to him:

"Look, Reamer. Our AV guy actually saved your @SS and kept us all from looking like a bunch of smug, foolish jack@sses by totally revamping what was originally a pretty crappy presentation. Or can't you pull your head out of your @ss long enough to realize that?"

And there's Roselyn.
This woman is a live granade minus a pin, who's always exploding out of nowhere over nothing, screaming at the top of her lungs at whatever poor, unfortunate slob happens to be in the room at the time - whether they're involved in the matter or not.

And you never know when it's coming. She's fine one minute and the next, "Mount Rozmore" is ready to erupt. And it's always about nothing. She ripped a fellow partner up one side and down another for not having two sheets of paper paperclipped before he handed them to her. They weren't being produced or anything important, mind you.

She went off on a whole group of people who were meeting in a conference room that THEY RESERVED 2 weeks prior simply because she wanted it on a whim. So, they had to get their @sses out! NOW !!
I heard the entire group had to "army crawl" across the floor to get out of the room without being hit by any of the sh*t she was throwing at them. (This is why there are helmets hanging on the wall outside her office, people. Use 'em.)

She's also sleeping with a client. I don't know HOW she managed that. Maybe the client is some desperate old guy who wasn't willing to pass up his last possible chance for sex? I don't know how she went long enough to have sex without going off? Maybe the she could pass an outburst off as a "climactic moment of ecstasy."

Her behavior is unprofessional and embarrassing to say the least. I know she brings some very serious cash into this firm, but that's really no excuse. I'm surprised none of the other partners have tried to get her in line. Actually, it seems the problem is probably biochemical.
She really needs to check out this (below) site, know what I mean?:

http://www.bipolar.com/

Then there's Duselhorst. All this guy does is pose during meetings and admire his own manicure.
"Do you see me? Do you see how elegantly my freshly manicured hands are holding this pencil? Damn, I look good. Watch me as I'm gently and precisely laying the pencil down on my legal pad, which has absolutely no writing on the pages."

What does this guy do (except cuss out support people when they don't bring him his latte on time) ?

And last, but not least is Feaslebaum. This guy looks like a younger, Midwestern version of Woody Allen (huge, over sized glasses and all), only he never talks...to ANYONE. He paces around the firm hallways in his own fog, wearing 70s-looking sports coats with gym shoes, drinking out of dirty coffee cups people have left on the sink.

Dude has problems. Well, at least he's quiet.

I could go on, but there are enough hours in the day to finish this entry in its entirety.